Grrr.

Sometimes I just want to bite someone. Really hard. In the leg.


The end.

Psalm 25

To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. Oh my God, in You I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you
I wait all the day long. Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD! Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name's sake, O LORD, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the LORD? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land.The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes
known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

Love Like Crazy

So tonight at church, we started a new series called "Secret Sex." Not the topic you thought you would hear about in church right? Well here is something for you to chew on. Church is the very best place to hear about sex. Because it is the only place that will teach you the right way to do things. The pastor said he got calls from parents asking if the material would be appropriate for their children. His response? "I don't know. Is the Bible appropriate for your children?" (Best response ever.) But man. It was powerful. God never expects us to be perfect. In fact, His strength and His power is made perfect in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) It is only in our failures that His perfection is made known. He alone can meet our needs perfectly. Although my faith in Him hasn't always been strong, I cannot imagine what I would be like without the love and mercy of my Saviour. He doesn't care that I'm nowhere near perfect, He just cares that I'm His. He wants to mold me and make me into the woman He has created me to be; He wants to walk beside me as a friend and father, to guide me in right ways. He wants to be the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold, and the joy that causes the smile. I want God to be my best friend. Though I may not hear, see, or feel Him, I want to always know that He is there. I want to strive to be like Him and hunger for His word in a way that I have never hungered for anything before. I want to give up things just so I can spend time with Him; whether it be in prayer, silence, or reading His word. I want to learn and thirst and be quenched by the Holy Spirit. Being wordly is too easy. I want to be challenged and succeed in being pure and holy.
"Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true. With thanksgiving, I'll be a living sanctuary for You."

I want to love Him, be loved by Him, and learn to love others LIKE CRAZY.

Evil - morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked

I do not understand how people can be so evil. My mom showed me an article that was in the paper today about Oakland and how in the past 5 years the homocides have been in the triple digits. These killings took the lives of people from the age of 1, to the age of 65. Last year there was a killing in riverside where a guy got in a fight with a friend/aquantance over a football game, and the killed, disembodied, burned, and then threw him in the lake. How could someone in their right mind do that? How can you think that you have the right to take someone else's life? I can see being very angry with that person, but how can you be so angry that you could take that persons life on a whim? You cannot be in your right mind... That persons life is not yours to take. God alone has given that person life and He alone should be the one to take it. But we, as humans, have decided we have the right to choose when a person dies simply because they made us angry, jealous, or upset. How can you justify that with no guilt? Do these people ever feel guilty about it? Or are they able to just "go on with life" as though nothing had ever happened? I know that most are caught and put in jail, but still. I do not understand how they could do that. Just take someones life on a whim! It makes me sad... Oh how I wish I could make it all better. I dislike all the violence and death.

Femininity

I am a girl. And sometimes it stinks.
I want to become a great combination of the "I like to be outside and hike up mountains and play in the dirt and get sweaty" girl, and the "I like to look nice and take good care of myself" girl. I dislike people seeing me as the girly girl who won't get her hands dirty or do anything physical simply because it might mess up her hair/makeup/clothing. So far, I am failing. I care way to much about what people think of me. To anyone reading this, if you have any suggestions for me, please comment with them! I am in desperate need of some de-girlifying. I want to be able to go camping and not care about the dirt or the no bathrooms/showers part of it. (Though camping with a bathroom and a shower is definitely preffered. See? Just trying to hit middle ground. Camping = tomboyish, while shower/bathroom = girly.) I think I will always mind the bugs. There is just no getting around that. I hate bugs with a passion. Maybe I will become an exterminator one day. No, then I would have to actually deal with the bugs. And that's gross. My future husband had better be ready to deal with spiders and roaches and the like, because I'm sure not going to do it. Hah.

I also want to come across smarter. I feel like I come across as such a dumb blonde. It's no fun to feel stupid. I want to BE smarter! Maybe I should take up reading educational books rather than Harry Potter and the Hunger Games... Or maybe I could find the happy medium? Oh definitely. Also my spiritual life. Right now it pretty much stinks. I am having such a hard time trusting God to take care of us and provide for us. I've gone through too many phases of going from loving Him greatly to almost denying His existance. (Bipolar much? Probably...) So this year I am determind to go through the bible in a year. (ish. Seeing that The year has already started and I have not started reading.) But I am going to try to read my bible every night before I go to bed.

Well, now that I have officially procrastinated, I shall go do all the stuff on my list that needs doing. Time to conquer the day!