I have the sudden urge to blog. I don't know about what exactly, just whatever comes to mind. This shall be random and quite fun. Yesterday was my birthday. (Yay 19!) I got a pineapple. If you've seen Psych, you'll understand. I also got a 53 inch teddy bear! His name was Sir Fluffles McFlooserbee, but then my sister accused him of being to flamboyant. So I changed it to Horacio. Though to his close friends he is still known as either Sir Fluffles or Mr. Fluffles.
Yesterday I was kindly reminded by a 13 year old that I need to grow up. I was taking care of 28 children from the age of 1 1/2 to 13 and was being my normal strange self when she gave me a strange look and asked me how old I was. When I responded saying I was 19, her eyes got big and had that look of disbelief and just a hint of mockery as she said one simple word. "Wow." I guess it was the tone that really did it, but that one word was like a slap in the face. Like she was saying, "You? 19? There is no way. Your maturity level is that of a 10 year old." But maybe she is right! Maybe I do need to grow up. Maybe its time to start taking life more seriously and not be so silly all the time. Boy does that make life seem dull. I wish peter pan and neverland were real. I do believe I would like to live there. But only if peter pan was Jeremy Sumpter.
Is that part of why I am so anxious about college? What happens if I don't find anyone to be silly with? I can't be expected to be mature and grown up all the time. That's just not who I am! (there I go, being all contradictory again...) I do feel like I'm still 13 or 14 years old. I feel like all the people at college are so much older and more mature than I. (which is probably true in most cases, actually.) But there must be someone with whom I can be my crazy immature self with. On another note, every time I think of having to say goodbye to all my family and friends and the people I love, I go into panic mode. How am I to say goodbye to those who mean the most to me? I'll come back, I know. But for the past 10 years or so, I have seen them anywhere from 2 to 4 times a week if not more! That is a very very large chunk of my life to let go. And I do not do well with letting go. I will make friends, I will learn things, and I will be able to start afresh where people don't know me, and yet... This does not excite me as much as it should. *heavy sigh*
Anyway, now that I've been thoroughly depressing... I have a 53 inch bear that is in need of some snuggling. Well, it is I that needs the snuggling, but I'm sure he does too.
I've been awaiting for you
And you've been awaiting for me
Tell me that you'll always be true
And you'll be the only one for me
Forget me not my dear, my darling
Forget me not my love
I just wanna hold your hand
Hang on every word you say
Let's write a song for us
And sing until we're old and grey
Forget me not my dear, my darling
Forget me not my love
I'm coming home real soon
Please leave a light on for me
Tell me that you'll always be true
And you'll be the only one for me
Yes, you'll be the only one for me
