In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." Why oh why can I never remember to do this?
I am stressed. So much is going on and I can't figure out how to do it all without just falling over. On the outside, it really doesn't seem like I have much to do and it may seem like I'm just cruisin through life with no problems. But my head is usually about ready to explode with the pressure.
Applying to college is not as easy as it sounds. There are essays to write, application fees to turn in, scholarships to look at, SAT scores to improve, and lots more decisions to make. Writing essays is not my forte... Especially when I can't figure out what I need to write them on because the websites are retarded and not easy to figure out! Gah.
Not to mention the job factor. I had 2 interviews for a job today and I really hope I get it! But I also feel kind of panicked about it because I don't have enough faith in myself to do well, so I automatically think I will fail. I also don't like the fact that I would have to give up certain things I like doing to have this job. I wouldn't be able to go as many places or see the people I want to see because the job would restrict that. Why does growing up have to be so dumb?
On a brighter note, I get to go to Idaho for Thanksgiving! I am so excited to get to see all of my family again. I miss them all so much! And who knows, there may even be snow! That would make me very happy. I want to make a snowman and a snow angel. And have a snowball fight. And get all cold and wet and have a red nose and rosy cheeks and then come in and warm up with a cup of tea and some dry clothes! Boy that sounds fantastic...
I love those moments when you are ranting about something and God just hits you in the face with the answer. See the title of this post? I wrote it not moments ago. I started off with no title, hoping that in the process of writing something would click. Well, it did. I need to be more in tune with God. He has not been my focus in life and I am ashamed of that. Trusting Him is one of the hardest things for me. I have seen Him meet the needs of those around me so many times and yet I still haven't been able to really trust Him with every aspect of my life. There is so much that I just want to do myself so I can see immediate results. Boy what a mess that makes... Why is it so hard to just let Him do His work in me and my life without me messing it up all the time? Why do I feel the need to control so much and make things happen when I don't know what the best thing for me is? It's so frustrating knowing that so much is going to be happening in the next couple months but not knowing if it will turn out how I want it to or not. The future can be such a scary thing...
My goal: Make God my biggest priority.
1 comment:
:) I'd say that's a very wise way to go. Focus on God, learn to have joy because of the cross, and nothing else. Let God be the one that blesses you. It wont be like this for long. :)
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